The Pursuit of Happiness

Find your happy place.

That mental oasis you escape to when life hands you lemons and shits all over you. The place you go to so you can camouflage that middle finger with a smile that gives toothpaste ad models a run for their money.

I am still looking for my happy place. Or rather I am on the pursuit of happyness.

PON (“point of note” for future reference), I am not the most optimistic of people. I see things as they are. Which is both a good thing and a bad thing.

You can say I border on pessimism and realism.

Good thing cause at times you need to stay calm and realize shit is shit. If it smells like shit, looks like shit, then it probably is shit.

Bad cause I am not in the right mental state to keep up with all the negativity around me. *All the thing I hate revolve around me – Bullet for my Valentine* Ulcers and depression are a few of the side effects of not finding my happy place.

Issue is I am still stuck on what happiness is. As in how do you define happiness (in this day and age)? What makes you happy?

Not that I haven’t been happy before.

Most of my childhood memories are filled with what you’d call happiness. I grew up in an awesome neighborhood – Eastlando. With bucket loads of adventure that would make for beautiful chapters in my autobiography.

I have a family that I love to death. And spending time with them, especially my mum is among the happiest times of my life.

But problem is these moments are in short supply. And rarely there when you need them most.

I’m now what society deems a grown up and need to look for grown up things to make me happy.

Like sex and shit. Or shit loads of money.

Or relationships.

Truth be told my generation is too materialistic and what we want to do to bring us happiness is either too expensive or dangerous.

Here’s the point you go like, take pride in the little things.

Fuck that shit.

I’ve watched too many movies, read too many books and listened to too much music. All these have helped create an image or reality of happiness that doesn’t seem to exist in the realm that I exist in.

So now I’m stuck on what will really make me happy. Something that won’t last for a short while and give me these withdrawal symptoms I am now going through.

FYI, my life aint that bad. Or so I’m told. Okay, it’s true. I know of people who are going through worse.

Am I being ungrateful for the things I have. Nope.

I am just trying to see if I have the things I need.

You need Jesus!

Been there…

You need to be more positive.

Back to square one….

I don’t even know why I’m writing this….Adios!

 

Originally posted on 15th July 2014