Love in the Times of Depression

I wore my heart on my sleeve
an open target for cupids arrow,

she said it was courageous
for me to put myself out there
yet didn’t notice that the impact
not only made me love her
but broke my heart into pieces.

The waves that brought me to her shores
also dragged me back into the ocean
and even though her arms kept me warm in the winter
their hold couldn’t keep me from drowning
in the tears from my melancholic soul.

“I thought I was your star,
why didn’t you come to me for refuge?”, she asked.

I wished it was that easy,
to open oneself to others
when it felt like even you
had been locked out of your own happiness.

“Despite the allure of the sun’s warmth,
the butterfly knows flying too close will only burn off its wings.”

My heart yearned for her
yet my soul longed for space to be alone.

Would it be honest to let the music take the day?
Synchronize with the rhythm of her heartbeat
yet feel like roses growing in a dark room?

Kisses from a cold breeze still make you shiver
in the warmest of summer days.

Most days we would make each other laugh.
I would quote lyrics to her favorite songs
and she would whisper lines from my favorite poems.
But the low days seemed far more profound,
when dancing in the rain only made us wet
and even the warmth of our bodies
could not bring heat to cold shoulders.

It was the best of times
It was the worst of times
star-crossed lovers
in the times of depression.

In the end
we were like the sun and the moon
trying to find union in the sunset.