Dear Abi
I’ve often asked myself why most of my relationships never work out. (This and many other things keep me up at night). Thoughts as to whether someday I will finally find someone who is just right for me. Also, the fact that this intro is totally false (or is it?) but at least I have your attention.
My approach to love it seems is a bit unorthodox. Or is it my approach to looking for someone. It is perfectly summarized in this line from John Mayer, “Who do you love? Me or the thought of me?”.
I don’t love you anymore not because I don’t love you (ironic, I know) but because I am not in love with the thought of you anymore. Best break up line ever! Right?
I digress too much.
What I am trying to explore here is whether we fall for people or we fall for the version of them that resides in our head? Before you approach someone or spend some time with them you already have an idea of what you expect. The folly of our imagination.
I for one have a really wild imagination and this means that whatever I expect is totally off from what I get. The trick is to either build the other party to what you expected or break your expectations to what you find. But aren’t we just betraying our hearts when we fall for the latter (which most of us do)? *Majority don’t have the patience for the former.
Love is a complicated equation, one who’s formula is subjective to the individual but we all hope for the same result. If one equates happiness to finding love then the question remains as to whether we will ever trully be happy when no one matches up to the lover that resides in our mind/heart.
These, my dear Abi, are some of the thoughts that keep me up at night.
Yours sincerely
Tom
