Fire and Rain #FightingDepression
You always know when you’re about to go under. The trigger is quickly a memory and all you’re left with is this overwhelming typhoon of sadness, self-pity and self-loath. Add to that a bunch of emotions you can’t place you finger on.
They say when you’re about to die your life flashes in front of your eyes. This happens every time you are about to go under. It’s like a constant reminder of the things you have done with your life and who will miss you if you let the feeling get too far.
The fear that you might just overcome the cowardice that has held you back from using the razor laying on your bedside stool. You hate pain and can’t seem to bring yourself to it on a physical level. But it’s the emotional pain that kills you. Slowly. You get home to an empty space devoid of a homely feel.
You want to call a friend but choose against letting them hear you with the sorrow in your voice. They have enough of their own problems. You decide to listen to some music. The depressing playlist you have ready for such times. You’ve been through it enough to know which songs to play. Without a second thought.
I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I’d see you again.
Close your eyes and just let the tears flow…..